exhausting...

The past two weeks have been so crazy that things that happened only 10 days ago feel like months ago. Wednesday night, we were all soundly asleep when Addy woke up in a panic. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night needing to go to the bathroom, but is so disoriented, that she will cry and need us to help direct her to the bathroom. So, when she woke us up with that cry, I was irritated (I'm sad to admit). But, she was actually crying in a panic because she was having difficulty breathing. BJ was able to calm her down and she fell back asleep, but she woke up panicky twice more during the night. We tried giving her benadryl thinking that maybe she was severely allergic to something. It just didn't make sense that a sickness could come on so suddenly. Well, at four in the morning, BJ and I had both been up with her for over an hour and her labored breathing was not improving, but getting worse. We had tried everything we could think of and still saw no improvement. So, at 4:00 am, I called my Dad in tears. My Dad is a paramedic and I knew that he would be able to help me. My only other resort was to take her to the emergency room. My Dad was able to give us some good tips, but said that if she didn't calm down in a half and hour, that we should take her in to the emergency room. Watching her gasp for breath and knowing that she could not get the oxygen that she needed...I cannot even describe how scary it was. It was the scariest thing I had ever experienced. At that time, BJ also gave her a priesthood blessing. Within a half an hour, she was sleeping again. But our peace was short lived. A couple of hours later, she awoke with labored breathing. With no insurance, we were trying to avoid having to go to the emergency room. So, we called our family doctor and were able to schedule an appointment for that morning. BJ took the day off work to go with us and Char came out to sit with the younger kids. When we arrived at the doctor's office, her temperature was 103 degrees and her oxygen level was at 90%. (Normal is 98-100 percent). They immediately starting giving her an albuterol breathing treatment. At the time, the PA tentatively diagnosed her with either asthma or pnemonia. He prescribed a steroid, an antibiotic and a breathing treatment for her. He also ordered a chest x-ray. When we went into town to have her x-ray done, we also stopped by Karli's who let us borrow her breathing machine. Thanks for saving us so much money, Karli! Then, Brett took time away from his kiddos to give Addy a chiropractic adjustment. He has a natural gift for healing and I really appreciate him helping Addy. Well, the chest x-ray came back negative, ruling out asthma and pnemonia. So, they were saying that it must just be a viral illness, maybe a bronchitis of some sort. But, that night as we were getting her ready for bed, she was having difficulty breathing again. BJ was helping her with her breathing treatment and I was on the phone with my Dad, who had called to check in on her. My parents had already had a trip to the valley scheduled for the weekend, so they were planning on coming into town the following day. But, when I broke down over the phone and asked my parents if they could come stay with me that night, they did. Within just a few minutes, they were on the road and came and stayed with us that night. Just having my parents in our house gave me so much peace of mind. It was also comforting to have medication to help her. When Addy woke up that night because she couldn't breathe, we had a breathing treatment we could give her.



By Friday, she was getting back to herself and was even playing and laughing again. My Mom and I spent the day canning. We canned beans and homemade cherry pie filling. On Saturday morning, as I was getting ready to go teach the canning class at Karli's workshop, Addy had another breathing treatment. As it turns out, that was the last treatment she needed. She improved dramatically and we all felt so relieved and so blessed. On Sunday, we celebrated Father's Day and I had an extra bit of gratitude in my heart for my Dad. It doesn't matter how "grown up" we are, if one of my sister's or I need my Dad, he is there. I know that I can turn to him for counsel, love, wisdom and guidance. He is a true hero. I am also so thankful for BJ. I watched him tenderly care for Addy, watching over her and protecting her. I am truly blessed to be married to a man who works so hard to provide for our family, is aware of the needs of each of our children and takes time to focus on each of them individually. In fact, after we got back from our Father's Day dinner with BJ's whole family, and we were getting the kids ready for bed, Addy said, "But I am still waiting for MY Daddy Sunday." Remember how BJ started meeting with each of our kids for a personal Father's interview each Fast Sunday? Well, Addy didn't realize that Father's Day was different from Daddy (fast) Sunday. I thought that was really cute. Our family dinner was really fun though. We had traditional Dr. Pepper Roast (thanks Bri) and Dave's favorite...Black Forest Cherry Cake. I feel doubly blessed to have Dave as a father in-law. He is amazing. He spends time to be interested in what each of us are doing and is so supportive. After Kennady overheard a conversation I was having with a friend about the color code book, she asked me about what each of the colors meant and we talked about what color I thought she was. I think she is a blue/red...by the way :) Anyways, as I was describing yellow (fun, exciting, life of the party, easy going, etc.), Kennady immediately piped in, "Oh, Grandpa Dave is a yellow!" It's true. Life is always more fun when Grandpa Dave is around! All in all, it was a very happy Father's Day and I felt very emotional about that miracle that each of these fathers are to me and what a blessing they are in my life and in the lives of my kids. So, thanks to my Dad, to BJ and to Dave for being amazing Fathers. I LOVE YOU! On Monday, our family home evening lesson was on gratitude. At the end of the lesson, we each got to think of one thing that we were thankful for. I wish I could remember what each person said, but I do remember that Brighton was thankful for our bodies (which I thought was really cute because that is what she had been learning about in nursery). I went last and I was thankful that Addy could breathe again. We all agreed that we had a lot to be thankful for. Well, Tuesday night at about 11:00, Jase woke up...with difficulty breathing. Now I know that we are not supposed to use prescriptions for people other than those they are intended for, but my baby couldn't breathe. Also, my Dad had described to me how albuterol is considered a benign medication and told me the properties of the drug. So, I felt confident that it would be okay to give him a breathing treatment. He got through the night okay with the help of a couple of breathing treatments. The following day, BJ was at work and I was at home worrying and stressing about Jase. I called the doctor's office. The earliest they could get him in was at 4:15. So, all day I just held Jase and watched him. I had him spend as much time as possible sitting in front of the cool mist humidifier.



Well, BJ was supposed to be able to meet me at the doctor's office to help with the other kids, but he needed to be at school for something. So, I was just planning on taking the whole gang with me. However, Sarah offered to keep the girls while I took Jase to his appointment. So, at 4:00, I dropped the girls off at Sarah's and headed over to the doctor's office. First, the nurse weighed him and took his measurements. He weighs 19 1/2 pounds. He is in the 72% for weight and 86% for height. Then, she took his temperature. He had a temperature of 101 degrees. She checked his oxygen levels and the pulse oximeter read 89 percent. Dr. McClure came in and looked at Jase for a couple of minutes, asked me a few questions and left the room. When he came back in, he told me that he had called an ambulance to transport Jase to the hospital. He had asked me originally if Jase was drooling more than normal because the entire front of Jase's shirt was covered in drool. When Dr. McClure told me he had called the ambulance, he explained to me that the accessory muscles around the neck were clearly working to draw air in. Also, there was a loud audible stryder with each inhalation. In addition, the fact that Jase could not take time away from breathing to swallow his own saliva made it clear that he was almost to the point that he would no longer be able to compensate for the lack of oxygen in his blood. He also told me that he didn't even want to chance looking in his throat, because with Jase being just barely able to compensate, he could easily progress from stable to respiratory distress. At this point, he left the room for a minute to prepare the necessary paperwork for the paramedics. I had a minute to myself to just hold my baby and pray. At this point, I realized with relief that if I had my girls with me, I wouldn't have been able to ride with Jase in the ambulance. I am so thankful that Sarah had the girls and that I knew that I did not have to worry about them. When the paramedics arrived, one of them started asking me questions, and more questions. Things I had already told both the nurse and Dr. McClure. When Dr. McClure indicated to the paramedic that he had printed off a sheet with all of the basic info, the paramedic answered, "I have it. I am just talking to Mom." It irritated me. Don't waste time blabbing about stuff you already know. Seriously. If you already have my address, why are you making me tell you again? I guess that maybe some people need a task to focus on the keep them from stressing out, but answering lame questions was stressing me out. Anyways, the ambulance arrived quickly and they had a stretcher with a little carseat attached. It was so sad to place my baby on the stretcher and watch him gasping for breath, not able to comfort him as they wheeled him out to the ambulance. The ambulance guy (what is his title anyways?) quickly put Jase on cool mist oxygen. Within minutes, he was fast asleep. I know that he must have been exhausted because he had only slept 15-20 minute increments since 11:00 the night before. He slept the entire way to the hospital. The ambulance guy was so great. I really liked him. He was so attentive to Jase and just relaxed. It was like hanging out with a friend. I had tried to call BJ from the doctor's office, but he did not answer the call. Once things calmed down and we were driving to the hospital, I asked the guy if I could possible borrow his cell phone to call BJ. He was funny because he actually swore a few times, which normally bugs me, but for some reason, it was almost endearing to me with him...maybe because he was so calm and caring, maybe because he was taking care of my baby. So anyways, I will give the censored version of our conversations :) He immediately handed me the phone and said, "Yes. I would kick my wife's butt if she didn't call me." Well, I still could not get in touch with BJ, so instead I called Sarah and updated her and she assured me that the girls were doing well and that she was good to keep them. Thankfully, Sarah thought to call BJ. Because he recognized her phone number, he actually answered his phone! Of course, he immediately began driving to Mercy Gilbert hospital. Meanwhile, the ambulance guy called ahead to the hospital to let them know we were on our way. I heard his end of the conversation go something like this (censored): "No, I didn't give him an I.V. He's just a little guy, like six months old. I didn't want to tick him off!" Ha Ha! Well, once we arrived at the hospital, an ER doctor met us at the door and immediately ordered a liquid steroid for Jase. We got settled in a "room" and the nurse came by and administered the steroid. She told us that it would take several hours before it would start working but that once it started working, it would last for three days. The purpose of the steroid was to decrease airway swelling, which would hopefully enable him to breathe more easily. They also continued the cool mist oxygen. About a half an hour later, the ER doctor came by and again explained that the steroid would not take effect for several hours. So, they were just going to monitor him for awhile. He also explained that there was one more treatment option they could try if necessary, but that he was hoping Jase would just start improving and that the additional treatment would not be necessary. Soon after that, BJ arrived at the hospital. Later, Char also came out to the hospital to be with us. She also brought BJ and I dinner, which was greatly appreciated! Right about the same time that Char arrived, the ER doctor came back and listened to Jase's breathing again. He sat on the bed and explained that Jase was not improving as he had hoped. In fact, his breathing was sounding worse since he had arrived at the hospital. So, he told me that a respiratory therapist would be by to administer an epinephrine breathing treatment. He said that if he did not see significant improvement after the breathing treatment, that he was planning on admitting Jase to hospital where they could monitor him through the night. After Jase got his breathing treatment, BJ went home to put the kids in bed while Char stayed at the hospital with me. Once the kids were asleep, Sarah came over to our house and sat with them while they slept so that BJ could come back to the hospital. By the time BJ got back, the doctor had given us the okay to take Jase home. It was also clear to us that the epinephrine breathing treatment had made a big difference. Jase was almost back to normal. We were so relieved! We were sent home with instructions to keep him calm and happy because when he gets upset, he tries to draw more air in so he can cry, which will irritate his airwarys. So, we arrived home around 11:30, prepared for bed and quickly went to sleep. We were exhausted! Then at 12:00, Jase woke up with labored breathing...again. At this point, I recalled them explaining that the ephinephrine was a short acting medication, but it didn't really register at the time. So, the medication had worn off, now we were home with nothing--no way to help him breathe. I felt angry. Why did they send us home as soon as they saw improvement? Obviously, they must have realized that the short-acting epinephrine would wear off quickly. So, in short, we had another stressful, sleepless night of holding Jase and trying to keep him happy so that he could breathe. Same thing the next day. That night, David came over and he and BJ gave Jase a priesthood blessing. He had one more really rough night before we really started to see consistent improvement. However, at this point the long-acting steroid they had administered in the hospital would be starting to wear off and we were headed into the weekend. So, I called and talked to Dr. McClure, who prescribed another steroid. Well, now here we are almost a week later. We are still exhausted and we still have a sick baby, just not scary sick anymore...thankfully. However, I am pretty sure that he has an ear infection now, which I just learned is a common secondary infection that develops along with croup. But, we just gave him some tylenol and he is sleeping now. Poor baby. :( I am very thankful that it seems like we are past the worst of it, but I will be so happy when our whole family is healthy again!